Zombie Repellent

Posted from The Kalamazoo Gazette

Sunday, June 01, 2008

1. Keep cool. Max Brooks, writer about zombies, says the undead “are a very stoppable horror. … They’re slow, and they’re dumb, and you can totally take them out if you know what you’re doing and keep a cool head and do all the right things. But if you screw up and get into panic and irrational fear, then you can be overwhelmed.”

2. Destroy the head. Use a simple weapon like a baseball bat, shovel or “lobo” (short for lobotomizer, the chief weapon in Brooks’ book “World War Z”). “Really, the idea is not to panic,” Brooks said. “As I say, use your head and cut off theirs.”

3. Don’t rely on guns. You’ll have a problem when you run out of ammo. “How many bullets are you going to be able to cram into the pockets of your cargo pants? Just use a machete, use an ax, use something you can keep using over and over again,” he said.

4. Look for all the danger signs — gray complexion, putrefaction, tendency to moan. “Don’t be proactively zombie killing,” Brooks warned. “You can’t tell the difference between a zombie and a frat boy when he’s drunk. You don’t want the cops rolling up on you with a pile of the Zeta Zeta Zetas all dead and say, `No, officer, I thought they were zombies.”’

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